I don't wanna let it out, I wanna stay blind,
Suppress the depression I'm ashamed of inside,
I won't let it affect me since they can't understand,
Anxiety, Depression, Mental health is not planned,
I didn't wanna let their belittling in,
But I felt as if I'm not normal as it is,
So the thoughts they say like you don't need Meds,
Made me feel more regular like it's not just MY head,
Because I have the feeling like I'm on someone's mind all the time,
Whether they're looking my way or looking somewhere else,
I begin to believe and never question myself,
Since I've lived with it forever like since day One,
I thought it was normal like they're the earth and I'm the sun,
I don't mean it in a bad conceded type of way,
In fact, I wish it wasn't like that every single day,
It's not about wanting to hold the center spotlight,
I actually hate it I constantly have stage fright,
Most of the time I'm feeling like they're judging me,
I can't go out alone because then I cannot breathe,
If I am all alone then I can't act like I see no eyes,
Staring all around me making me feel belittleized,
But when you realize mental health is an actual health condition,
You'll realize some people can be depressed and some people can have depression,
I don't know a healthy person who has been admitted to a hospital over 50 times,
No, it's not an exaggeration it's because she really wanted to die,
They call it the silent killer because it CAN and it WILL kill you,
If you have it bad enough that's all you want to do,
It's going through your head on a constant cycle repeated,
You can have no enemies yet still feel defeated,
It's not just something you can snap your fingers and get over,
It's not just something you can try to bulldozer,
It's constantly there and gets worse by the minute,
Do you think if she was mentally healthy she probably would have said it,
So just start to realize mental health is a real thing,
And don't be ignorant like were all the same being,
We all have different flaws and these ones are like a hidden cancer,
You can't physically see it so don't act like you know the answer,
Did you know we have certain chemicals in the brain,
Some of which is called endorphins and others dopamine,
And when they are off balance that's where mental health comes along,
And if you think you can just push through it you have got it all wrong,
That is a chemical imbalance and that can sometimes happen,
Not just by being born with it but by a traumatizing situation,
So before you act like a doctor and say there's no such thing,
Look up the chemicals Endorphins, Serotonin,Oxytocin, and Dopamine.